This one took me years with my wife. Underneath that, my inadequacy button was firing. But this is missing the issue, and missing our women. One is that we live in a culture that trains us to invalidate each other because we are simply afraid of our own experience.
I can make better. Another struggle some men have is that when he validates her feelings, her emotions might come out even more, which, for a man who struggles to feel his own emotions, is overwhelming.
But his own inability to be with his own feelings is the real issue. But to turn this whole thing around, he must: That only works to a point. To truly get her, he must drop into his heart and body and use all of him to listen and see her.